Sunday, June 26, 2011

The Everyday Struggle

Posted by Uheartmevs at 11:14 AM
There's something about my BED. A monster perhaps.. I always felt hypnotized, I think it has a force on it, something like magnetism that pulls me towards it. I struggled against it but the force is eating me. I was weak, helpless and yet I was struggling with all the energies that I have.

Tik tok! 6:00AM. The alarm rings.


Tik tok! 6:30AM. The alarm rings.


Tik tok! 6:45. The alarm rings.


I woke up with a heavy heart. First stretch in the morning was not that relieving, I know it will be more satisfying if I would have done it around 7:30 AM at least. Now, there goes the battle of angel/devil. To go or not to go. I kept on muttering, goodness should prevail. My muttering continued.. I know I can do this.. This is just a simple battle that I have to face, if I can't even fight waking up early in the morning how much more when I have to face bigger waves of enemies on the real battlefield.

Finally, I have fought against that 'hypnotism.' I stood with fake elegance, eyes closed, flimsy senses, ambivalent mindset.

Now my right eye is half open, I peeked through the window, the sun is up, it was indeed a sunny and good weather, I know I should not waste that great day so I put on my battle armour and said: "This is gonna be another lazy day but I have to be certain of my priorities."

I bathe,as the cold water impacts on my jaded body, a gush of stimulation arrived. I know, I daresay that I am awake,my eyes were widely opened, pores breathing freely through the environment, my heart swiftly thumping against my chest, now this is something weird because I know 'cold environment' is a vasoconstrictor thus the physiologic effects should be the other way around, but I was invigorated instead. I passed the first test. I grinned.

I'm all set, ate my breakfast, prepared my things and I'm off..

Now, the battle continued, waiting. I have to wait for the bus, it took minutes or something over an hour. I released a big sigh. I know I was not that convince to push through this struggle even doubting if I have done what I really want but this is not all about want but rather the thing that is 'right' So I shake off my head as if trying to erase the ideas on my head.

Few minutes after, there goes the one I've been waiting. I took lazy strides towards it. I wanted to turn my head back and just went through my waiting bed but fought against the feeling and I stepped inside the bus. Now, as I was sitting in the bus, the air of rural air caressed my face and tangled my hair. It was good, I was enervated.

Minutes have passed, I arrived on the real battlefield. It was the same as ever, nothing really special, it isn't my dream place, fowl smelling, contagious diseases are everywhere, strangers and some familiar faces but nothing really special as I said but something brought me here.. this is the place I am working and I have no choice but to live here 40 hours of my week.

I felt guilty inside, but maybe everybody does. We all get to face the same struggle, it was not that easy, it is exasperating actually but when I look upon myself I know I felt victorious, I know I was more than a lazy girl today.

But this is life all about, full of struggles, full of hardships... Apparently, life is an endless battle from womb to tomb.


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