The Fifth Vital Sign

It was sudden. I was caught off guard. I knew it would happened but I never expected that it was the worst kind of pain I have ever felt in my entire life. I was ineffable, all I did was closed my eyes, felt my heart thumping hard against my chest, I felt my pores dilated wide and I sweat coldly yet profusely, for a moment I held my breathing thinking that this would aid me to ease the pain but it didn't happen all I can see were visions of me in the edge of a cliff wanting to jump off and put a stop in everything.

  

I cannot stand being awake, the pain is too much.

... And in my mind I was screaming at the top of my lungs, asking and begging for help but nobody screamed back, I felt I was alone, solitary maybe. I tried to touch something, someone must be there holding me back when I almost lost my senses but nobody there to hold my hand back and I was there lying in utter sadness. That was the most helpless traumatic point in my life, I thought that it's going to end soon but it wasn't.. As the scalpel excise my skin, I saw a gush of blood, it was undeniably real yet I'm still

 ...alive